I Guess It's F.B.O now...

Bring Your Green Hat!

I found this list of the best Will Ferrell skits and had to post it. I realize that his career has turned into a long, painful one-note string (D minor, I believe) but he really is funny. I tried to find his SNL audition tape but it appears to be hiding from me. (If you want to see comedic genius, buy The Best of Will Ferrell on DVD and check out his impersonation of a business-man-turned-cat.)

I implore you to watch the Old Prospector, Get off the Shed, Robert Goulet and Harry Carrey...you'll laugh, you'll cry... you'll wonder why Blades of Glory exists.

(PS...if you don't like Elf than I don't like you.)

W Seeking R.M

This story (blog entry?) from the Daily Beast has inspired me. I'm not really sure why I should schlep through life with my dismal paycheck and Target wardrobe when I could be dashing off to Paris and enjoying spa weekends.

Other benefits include a non-committal relationship based on a mutual agreement that work/friends/everything else comes before each other; you'll get a GREAT reference letter out of it; no rent-no bills-free car; and if you play your cards right, you can bag a smart rich guy. Which will give you plenty of things to talk about while you're...I dunno... taking the ol' Leer Jet out for a spin. (dammit I just talked myself into it)

Ahh, the Sugar Daddy. The world can be yours for just one soul! Act now though...with the flailing economy and that pesky recession you could miss your chance!

Accounts Payable

Hey preasers...me and my can of pepper spray have been whisked away to beautiful East Baltimore for the day. I'm taking classes with such promising names as "Online Payment Requests" and "Travel Reimbursement Request," so I've been neglecting le brog. I've provided a visual interpretation of my excitement about being here today.
--I should go...we're moving on to Win-GUI interfaces and Chinese water tourture. I'll be back tomorrow, providing Boredom and Bullets choose to let me see another day.

Bowie's In Space

Astrology is always a good time. Go to this link to find your rising suns and planets and descending pop icons and fashion statements.

The foxy lady who sent me this link received a dead-on description of herself. Mine was close-ish, but I think it's only fair to grant a margin of error because I go through so many ch-ch-changes.

Like a China Girl.

Just you shut your mouth.

A List

As I've mentioned before, much like the Big Guy, I'm a gigantic fan of lists.

I found this one today. It's Details list of the most powerful 40 men/entities of 2008.

Here is another list link. This man creates lists that are each 11 entries long. Seeing as 11 is my favorite number, and lists are me and Santa's favorite way to keep track of things (like bitches, ho's, liars and cookie theives), I like this blog.

Mousercise

One year for Easter I was given a VHS of Mousercise. I was probably eight, and took immediate offense to the gift; Easter is for hard boiled eggs and jelly beans, not creepy exercising rodents and coked-out instructors. Despite the blow to my little fat kid ego, I accepted the gift and went to the basement to check out the tape.

After pushing all the furniture and toys out of my way for optimal movement, I hit play and started my warm up. I didn't get very far into the tape- I just remember sitting down and watching it like a movie. I'd thrown in a random arm thrust and occasionally remember to keep my head up and buttocks tight, but I was fascinated by the kids in the tape.

How did they get to be on this tape?? I imagined that their moms were friends with Kellyn, the instructor, but knowing now how fucked up Disney is, these kids were probably cryogenically frozen and then thawed out for the duration of filming. I always thought the girl in front was a bitch, and possibly an equine enthusiast, and I always felt especially compassionate toward the chubby, un-coordinated red-faced girl in the back. Her sweatshirt was tragic, she obviously didn't rehearse and she most certainly didn't give a shit about checking her heart rate after a few intense reps of side stepping. She was the Isaac Hanson among a fleet of Taylors, and for that, I loved her.

I advise you to watch the tape for its 80's nastiness... it's pretty fantastic. If you're feeling wild, hop up and let Kellyn lead you to a tighter bod...if you're feeling nostalgic, let yourself tumble head first into Mousercise memories...and if you're feeling smug, go ahead and judge the hell out of those sad little test tube kids in unitards.