PreaseBrog is proud to present its first guest writer. An implant to LA, this guest has given us his recently-acquired West Coast wisdom as a launch pad for Love in a Liberal Land.
How to Bag a Democrat Election Day 2008.
As I think about the long wait ahead of me at the local elementary school, a more pointed cogitation thrusts its way past my desire for a change in that most oblong of offices- how can I pull the lever for democracy while simultaneously pulling the lever for my love life? Listed below are a few sure-fire ways to ensnare a bleeding-heart liberal:
1. While waiting in line, read any book by any Comedy Central political comedian.
2. Avoid socially-charged fashion from both ends of the spectrum, i.e. fur, hemp shoes, etc…
3. Wear your best smarty (NOT to be confused with Palin) glasses.
4. If confronted by a Conservative hate monger, engage them gently, until it becomes appropriate to whip off above-mentioned smarty (again, no Alaskan influence here) glasses and use them as a prop in your well-formed liberal argument (giving an exasperated “It just makes me sad” look post confrontation can be a crucial addition).
5. Time the exit from your voting cubby with that of your benevolent paramour- find a way to start a conversation, perhaps with something like, “Sarah Palin’s hair will certainly be deflated after tonight,” or “I hope Johnny Boy took his heart pills today.”
While these are not directions, they are guidelines. Feel free to add or subtract at will.
I thank Master Nolan for his contribution and urge you all to vote YES! to Amendment 7: Patrick James for Best Actor Oscar (or lover?) 2009.