Tuesday, January 20, 2009


So Baltimore lost. To Pittsburgh. It was a sad, sad day, but if I continue to dwell on it my sadness will consume me and I'll be no better than the buckets of garbage who beat us on Sunday.

I'll allow that that last statement didn't make much sense, but let's move on, shall we?

Today is the date my eyeballs have been straining to read off the bumpers of cars for four years now: 1/20/09. I think it is amusing that for years this date has been marketed- by us- as "Bush's Last Day;" a sentiment totally disregarding the future. Far before Mccain and Obama duked it out, the fact that it would be Bush's last day in office surpassed the "What Could Be's" and stopped cold at the "Get Him the Hell Out of Here's." Given the power of "1/20/09", I'm surprised we even bothered voting at all and didn't just appoint John Hamm or Harry Potter as King.

But we did vote, and it is the final day of Dubbya's tenure as Commander in Chief. Though I would love to witness history and all that jazz, you could not pay me to make the 45 minute treck to DC today. First of all, I hate crowds. Second of all, I hate the Human-to-Port-A-Pot Ratio, which is 800:1. (4 mil people, 5,000 shitters.) A perfectly respectable lady friend of mine is donning a pair of adult diapers in the event that she has to- you know, pee. While I respect her enthusiasm, as a general rule of thumb I won't go anywhere requiring me to throw a box of wipes into my purse.

cnn.com is asking all Inauguration-goers to send pictures of the event so they can compile the most detailed image of any moment in history. As if the cell phone towers won't be working to full capacity, cnn also requests that the images be sent as soon as possible. I'll try to post the compiled, layered image of 4 million grainy phone pictures here as soon as it is made available.

I'm now off to finish some work and go watch the Grand Show on the other side of campus. Enjoy watching this momentous occasion and don't forget to check out who Michelle is wearing and which celebrities get to stand on the actual stage while Obama performs.

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